in his heavenly airplane

Initially this was part of the previous post, but I though it deserved a spot unto itself. I am sure after reading you will agree.  So here they are the:

2014 AIRLINE AWARDS 

First off it was not a good year for air travelers, especially those on Malaysia Air flights. I think often about MH370 and I am haunted by one particularly memory,  that early morning in March riding to Perth from Adelaide.  I was on the Nullarbor 1000 miles from nowhere, the sun was not yet up, when the satellite TV trucks passed me. They were on their way to Perth to cover the search for MH370.  To this day, still nothing.  

Anyway on to the Awards. Why bother? Seriously it is shocking what air travellers put up with.  Recourse? Ha I laugh in your general direction.

Worst in flight service goes to Air Canada Rouge (big shock there) Honolulu to Vancouver 5 1/2 hours of nothing.  Why have “flight attendants”? No really you could sell their seats and increase revenue without changing service to passengers.  About those trendy chapeaus that the attendants wear?  Who’s idea was that?  Let me tell you I know a thing or two about stupid hats (#airportdad) and you guys are so hitting the mark with those!

Worst run airports. Oh where do I begin?

  1. Honolulu! Pray for a tsunami to wipe it out and start again.
  2. Second place goes to Auckland Tips: a) Ticket kiosks are not the answer to customer service. b) Have someone marshalling the lines. Those lines seem to be your raison d’être.
  3. Honourable mention EIA/YEG/EDMONTON domestic luggage claim area.  The 1960s called and they want their conveyor belts back.  Claustrophobic use of space.

 

BEST inflight service: Air New Zealand.  People, we actually received complementary bar service.  OK… ok bizarre I know, but true!

BEST immigration control YVR.  Worst? ya you guessed it Honolulu

BEST use of technology YVR see above Worst? Auckland see: use of ticketing kiosks.

BEST attempt to revolutionize air travel AIR CANADA for their new boarding procedures.

ZONE 1 = SUPER ELITE; GOD and others that really don’t need a plane to fly

ZONE 2 = PREMIUM and litany of other inane classes that include but are not limited to: Premium Economy Class, Premium rouge on International flights, as well as those travelling on a Latitude fare. Altitude Elite 75K, 50K, 35K and Star Alliance Gold members are also invited to board with zone 2, as well as select TD and CIBC credit card holders.

ZONE 3 = Traveling with children or need additional time to board. *Why are these people always trying “de plane first”? #douchebags  Oh yah “would all zones called from now on please use the Red line, NOT the blue line.” I am thinking the blue line has some sort of special carpeting and is for Zone 1 & 2 only?

It is at this point my mind wanders to the old adage “women and children first” and the scene from Titanic where they are boarding the life boats.  Joan Osborne is singing in the background.  

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make His way home?

ZONE 4 & 5 your average economy Class differentiated by location of seating assignment.

God bless you Air Canada.   You never cease to amaze me and you never stop trying.  For this I am eternally grateful….

But I am on to your business model (read “tricks”).  Make life so shitty for the average economy traveller they will gladly pay to  upgrade for service they use to receive as economy travellers.  

Air CANADA I am left to wonder, what if you used your energies for good instead of evil? …. I have seen the future and this is your new logo.  It appears on all air canada planes, on the tail.Untitled 3

On the phone, the pope just called from Rome

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Signed,

Airport Dad

 

 

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